How did I get here and where do I want to go?

It's the assignment I've been putting off, so in the spirit of my resolution to tackle unfinished business, here it goes.

Librarianship was my chosen profession, but aside from choosing the profession that my career was planned is an illusion. I worked in fast food management for 6 years while going to school part-time and then worked at a book store, where I had applied for a management position, but they were filled, so instead I became a children's bookseller. How fortuitous! Had I been hired as a manager, I wouldn't have made the leap to go to school full time. And had I stayed at the bookstore and not pursued my education I'd now be out of a job as Borders Books & Music went out of business.

I took a chance on a job posting while I was in grad school, a posting I could have easily missed on the job board and almost did, but took the effort to double back when one word caught my eye. The job turned out to be in my mother's hometown, 150 miles away from where we lived at the time, which was the same place my husband spent his while life to that point. I applied, was offered the job, and my husband said, as is his way, "Sure," when I suggested we pull up his roots.

As an experienced children's bookseller and a student of Bibliographic Instruction, I was a good candidate fro a backup children's librarian to read stories and hold programs when the much revered Children's Librarian was out. The BI experience made me a good candidate for creating a series of computer classes for the public. Then came the unexpected assignment which would lead me to adventurousness and great job satisfaction--Teens' Services Librarian as about 25% of my job description. I loved it all, but admittedly fell into it rather than having mapped out the specifics.

Oddly timed retirements after my having been at the library for eight years and the next thing you know I'm a Library Director after a 3 month stint as Assistant Director. To say the job is challenging, even after 6 years, is an understatement. I am beset with small tasks with great metamorphosizing power to turn into creation of policies and procedures we don't have or compliance requirements we need to meet. After 6 years, I turn over stones and there are still serpents greeting me. We've come a long way and will continue to do so, but I'm tired and have fallen into disorganization at work and at home, which follows logically. I don't take care of myself the way I should and I give far too much of myself to my job, which leaves me feeling burned out and tired before the day in the office starts.

Where do I want to be? In a place of balance.

1. I want to think about work when I'm at work and home when I'm at home. (I realize this is not a 100% proposition, so won't consider it a failure if they encroach on one another every so often.)
2. I want to have a house in which I can find things and the mantra of, "Found it!" slides away into oblivion. I want to model organization and efficiency for our daughter, who is a slob and wouldn't remember to take her head to school if it wasn't attached.
3. I want to not dread people dropping in.
4. I want to make progress on the growing, but stagnating to do list of pie in the sky ideas at work and home which are possible.

This is going to take effort, but I am worth it as is my family as is my job. So let's go!